...with Bath and Body's C. O. Bigelow Mentha Shine lip gloss...oh my GOD...it tastes so good, the colors are so wearable, and it makes my lips so soft! I bought some other stuff but they pale in comparison...
Tomorrow is brunch with France and a trip to Ulta. I shall report back with the details.
Thursday, December 29, 2005
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Makeup-y Goodness.
Lest you think I have lost sight of the origins of this blog, I shall now rave about eyeliner:
Exaggerate Rimmel Full Colour Eye Definer is the awesomest eyeliner in the whole wide world. I have Estee Lauder eyeliner. I have those stupid Styli-style eyeliners all the magazines talk about. I have other types of Rimmel eyeliners and an Ulta eyeliner, etc, etc, but this is the FIRST eyeliner I have been able to apply correctly! It goes on very smoothly, and WOW, I never realized what a difference eyeliner makes in looking "done." I have it in sable and plan to purchase it in black and possibly a shade of purple. It really makes my eyes stand out and it lasts all day. (At least, on my top lid, which is the only place I use it.)
Thank. God.
Also I have recently rediscovered my curling iron--as my hair is finally long enough to use it--and I don't care what anyone says about straightening irons--I'll take my wide-barrelled curling iron for straightness and body any day. I am feeling good about myself the past few days...I just need to get on the ball about this gym thing!
Exaggerate Rimmel Full Colour Eye Definer is the awesomest eyeliner in the whole wide world. I have Estee Lauder eyeliner. I have those stupid Styli-style eyeliners all the magazines talk about. I have other types of Rimmel eyeliners and an Ulta eyeliner, etc, etc, but this is the FIRST eyeliner I have been able to apply correctly! It goes on very smoothly, and WOW, I never realized what a difference eyeliner makes in looking "done." I have it in sable and plan to purchase it in black and possibly a shade of purple. It really makes my eyes stand out and it lasts all day. (At least, on my top lid, which is the only place I use it.)
Thank. God.
Also I have recently rediscovered my curling iron--as my hair is finally long enough to use it--and I don't care what anyone says about straightening irons--I'll take my wide-barrelled curling iron for straightness and body any day. I am feeling good about myself the past few days...I just need to get on the ball about this gym thing!
Monday, December 26, 2005
To brighten your day!
In the jammies my mom gave, which were way too small, but I threw them on anyway, because they were so cute!
IN the jammies I bought her today, printed with frogs and duckies, and fresh from the bath:
And with her baby doll:
IN the jammies I bought her today, printed with frogs and duckies, and fresh from the bath:
And with her baby doll:
The Loot.
Leila's Christmas Haul:
From Mommy:
pretend cell phone
pretend camera
dress up shoes
Hello Kitty Purse
Slippers
plush carrycase with a tiny plush kitten/accessories
special outfit from Gymboree
Strawberry Shortcake tin lunchbox
princess crown
From Nanna:
2 cabbage patch dolls
interactive book
2 sets of jammies
2 sweatshirts
more candy than our family can consume
adorable stocking filled with even more candy
pillow and blanket set
assorted Christmas-themed noisemakers filled with--you guessed it--more candy
The Irony:
A fifteen minute discussion between me and my husband on not spoiling her too much, then arriving home to two huge boxes of presents from my mom. Then me going out today and picking up more things for her...because it's on sale and she needs clothes, that's why!
From Mommy:
pretend cell phone
pretend camera
dress up shoes
Hello Kitty Purse
Slippers
plush carrycase with a tiny plush kitten/accessories
special outfit from Gymboree
Strawberry Shortcake tin lunchbox
princess crown
From Nanna:
2 cabbage patch dolls
interactive book
2 sets of jammies
2 sweatshirts
more candy than our family can consume
adorable stocking filled with even more candy
pillow and blanket set
assorted Christmas-themed noisemakers filled with--you guessed it--more candy
The Irony:
A fifteen minute discussion between me and my husband on not spoiling her too much, then arriving home to two huge boxes of presents from my mom. Then me going out today and picking up more things for her...because it's on sale and she needs clothes, that's why!
Attack of the Mommy
My kid is a freakin' prodigy, ya'all.
My mom sent two cabbage patch dolls for Christmas. Leila was so excited about the "baby" one and she has been on-and-off lavishing it with attention.
Now, I have to confess that from time to time I freak out and think that her vocabulary isn't big enough and we should enroll her in speech therapy posthaste because she's smart enough and by God, she should be stringing together fairy tales at this point!
That is the Crazy in me. I try to ignore it.
But watching her with this doll really brings it home to me exactly how smart she is. At eighteen months old, she covers the baby with a blanket, offers it her bottle, tells it "Night night" and pats its back.
Then, before I get too overcome with the Cute, she throws it off of the bed for a better position on her pillow.
My mom sent two cabbage patch dolls for Christmas. Leila was so excited about the "baby" one and she has been on-and-off lavishing it with attention.
Now, I have to confess that from time to time I freak out and think that her vocabulary isn't big enough and we should enroll her in speech therapy posthaste because she's smart enough and by God, she should be stringing together fairy tales at this point!
That is the Crazy in me. I try to ignore it.
But watching her with this doll really brings it home to me exactly how smart she is. At eighteen months old, she covers the baby with a blanket, offers it her bottle, tells it "Night night" and pats its back.
Then, before I get too overcome with the Cute, she throws it off of the bed for a better position on her pillow.
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Martian Death Flu.
It's very, very sad when you've been sick all day, playing on the internet, then you finally head to bed, but suddenly realize--"I haven't checked Myspace today!" And like a 13 year old you run back to the computer.
Very sad.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go blow my chapped nose for the eight hundredth time and curse my doctor's office for not calling me back.
Very sad.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go blow my chapped nose for the eight hundredth time and curse my doctor's office for not calling me back.
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Just Pretend you never read this.
There are things I don't really talk about on here. I ache to be able to express myself like some of my favorite bloggers, but I can't get over the fact that people I know (both well and tangentially) read this blog. I'd rather that some stock guy at Williams-Sonoma not look across the mall and think, "Hey, there's that blob of insecurity who tries to be amusing and talks about shopping WAY too much."
On the other hand, I'm an attention whore and wish I was a famous blogger who got free things and encouraging emails from other famous bloggers.
I struggle with a lot. Lately things seem to be piling up on me until I feel I can't breathe. I am needy. I am inadequate. I am a failure as a mother, a wife, a daughter. Also as a friend. I don't return phone calls. I play on the internet when I should be playing with my daughter. I don't give my husband enough sex and I'm not trying hard enough to "get better" from the various ailments that seem to have taken over my life.
I don't even freaking know how to drive and I can't save money no matter how important it is.
I need to go back to school and I miss my reputation as a "smart girl." I hurt people's feelings without even realizing it, without picking up on important clues that should have shown me. In retrospect I don't even remember what I said or did but obviously it hurt someone's feelings enough to feel like I needed an ego check, and I got one. Now I can't get it out of my head even though I am sure that it was only half my own crappiness and half her sensitivity...but since I've always considered myself a fairly sensitive person--it hurts to realize I'm obviously not.
I need to try harder. Other people make do with less money and less time, but I can't be bothered to go to the dentist or vacuum my carpet. I'm ashamed of myself most of the time, and I don't want to feel this way anymore.
I don't make New Year's Resolutions because I think they're dumb, but I have goals.
1) Keep house clean.
2) Be a better, more understanding wife/mother/friend/coworker.
3) Take care of self--go to gym, eat right, go to doctor and dentist regularly instead of when things are too bad to wait any longer.
4) Take care of family. Make dinner, tend to needs.
5) Learn to drive.
6) Be responsible with money. Save more, spend less.
7) Make a plan, set goals re: college and/or advancement at work.
8) Get a life, spend less time putzing around on internet.
If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go do the dishes now.
On the other hand, I'm an attention whore and wish I was a famous blogger who got free things and encouraging emails from other famous bloggers.
I struggle with a lot. Lately things seem to be piling up on me until I feel I can't breathe. I am needy. I am inadequate. I am a failure as a mother, a wife, a daughter. Also as a friend. I don't return phone calls. I play on the internet when I should be playing with my daughter. I don't give my husband enough sex and I'm not trying hard enough to "get better" from the various ailments that seem to have taken over my life.
I don't even freaking know how to drive and I can't save money no matter how important it is.
I need to go back to school and I miss my reputation as a "smart girl." I hurt people's feelings without even realizing it, without picking up on important clues that should have shown me. In retrospect I don't even remember what I said or did but obviously it hurt someone's feelings enough to feel like I needed an ego check, and I got one. Now I can't get it out of my head even though I am sure that it was only half my own crappiness and half her sensitivity...but since I've always considered myself a fairly sensitive person--it hurts to realize I'm obviously not.
I need to try harder. Other people make do with less money and less time, but I can't be bothered to go to the dentist or vacuum my carpet. I'm ashamed of myself most of the time, and I don't want to feel this way anymore.
I don't make New Year's Resolutions because I think they're dumb, but I have goals.
1) Keep house clean.
2) Be a better, more understanding wife/mother/friend/coworker.
3) Take care of self--go to gym, eat right, go to doctor and dentist regularly instead of when things are too bad to wait any longer.
4) Take care of family. Make dinner, tend to needs.
5) Learn to drive.
6) Be responsible with money. Save more, spend less.
7) Make a plan, set goals re: college and/or advancement at work.
8) Get a life, spend less time putzing around on internet.
If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go do the dishes now.
Saturday, December 17, 2005
The Temper Tantrum Fairy
Here at Casa Joy, the holidays are a bit...fraught. With, uh, tension and stuff. My husband is Muslim and therefore Christmas seems like Satan's playground, and I'm Christian and was raised a firm believer in...a lot of things that he finds appalling.
After two years of abject misery, I put my foot down. THIS YEAR, I commanded, there would be presents, and a special meal, and much merriment, AND YOU WILL ENJOY IT.
Eleventy hundred jillion tearful scenes later, we had our plan: we'd open presents Christmas Eve. We would refer to said holiday as "Festivus" (or in my case, the Holiday That Shall Not Be Named) On Christmas Day Proper, I would make my famous veggie lasagna and we would chill all day, eating Pepperidge Farms cheese and generally living the high life.
If you have known me for any length of time and I have ever bought you a present, you totally know what happened next.
We opened our presents (such as we had bought so far) tonight. Because we are pitiful. And also, I have no self control.
I got Miss Dior Cherie, which I had been begging for for MONTHS. It came from Neiman's in a pretty gold box and I was sooooo excited I almost peed my pants. I also got pajamas and earphones for my iPod and some as-yet-unnamed present. My husband wasn't content with just the parfum, so he bought the lotion too...which I never would have asked for because I know that I will not use the lotion because the lotions that come with perfumes are always watery. However when I am wearing my pajamas and flittering about the house very excited about my awesome new scent, the lotion seemed just the thing to wear!
I think I will refer to my husband as John. It amuses me, because his real name is pretty unusual. I don't mind having mine and Leila's names on here, as lots of people are named these names...but not so many people are named his name and I'd rather prospective employers not have their first impressions of him be that his wife is a spendaholic. And crazy.
John got some good gifts...a NIN t-shirt from the "With Teeth" tour, a box of fancy dark chocolate, a UM Terps hat, and a book of Batman comics, something like Batman does Japan.
Leila received some dress up shoes, a play camera, play cell phone, a Hello Kitty purse, and a little plus carrying case with a tiny little plush cat and mouse and their accessories. Her favorite gift, though, was a My Little Pony ornament, which she ran around with, screaming, "Bah! Bahll! BahBall!" She loves to play with my purse, shoes, camera and cell phone, so I thought these were good ideas...however, the Temper Tantrum Fairy visited during the gift giving...and John and I realized it was eight o clock and she hadn't eaten...
Duh.
After two years of abject misery, I put my foot down. THIS YEAR, I commanded, there would be presents, and a special meal, and much merriment, AND YOU WILL ENJOY IT.
Eleventy hundred jillion tearful scenes later, we had our plan: we'd open presents Christmas Eve. We would refer to said holiday as "Festivus" (or in my case, the Holiday That Shall Not Be Named) On Christmas Day Proper, I would make my famous veggie lasagna and we would chill all day, eating Pepperidge Farms cheese and generally living the high life.
If you have known me for any length of time and I have ever bought you a present, you totally know what happened next.
We opened our presents (such as we had bought so far) tonight. Because we are pitiful. And also, I have no self control.
I got Miss Dior Cherie, which I had been begging for for MONTHS. It came from Neiman's in a pretty gold box and I was sooooo excited I almost peed my pants. I also got pajamas and earphones for my iPod and some as-yet-unnamed present. My husband wasn't content with just the parfum, so he bought the lotion too...which I never would have asked for because I know that I will not use the lotion because the lotions that come with perfumes are always watery. However when I am wearing my pajamas and flittering about the house very excited about my awesome new scent, the lotion seemed just the thing to wear!
I think I will refer to my husband as John. It amuses me, because his real name is pretty unusual. I don't mind having mine and Leila's names on here, as lots of people are named these names...but not so many people are named his name and I'd rather prospective employers not have their first impressions of him be that his wife is a spendaholic. And crazy.
John got some good gifts...a NIN t-shirt from the "With Teeth" tour, a box of fancy dark chocolate, a UM Terps hat, and a book of Batman comics, something like Batman does Japan.
Leila received some dress up shoes, a play camera, play cell phone, a Hello Kitty purse, and a little plus carrying case with a tiny little plush cat and mouse and their accessories. Her favorite gift, though, was a My Little Pony ornament, which she ran around with, screaming, "Bah! Bahll! BahBall!" She loves to play with my purse, shoes, camera and cell phone, so I thought these were good ideas...however, the Temper Tantrum Fairy visited during the gift giving...and John and I realized it was eight o clock and she hadn't eaten...
Duh.
Friday, December 16, 2005
Recent Splurges
It is once again the most wonderful time of the year, but my family is small and my husband won't buy me makeup, sooo...I bought some things for myself.
I had a consultation with Raina, (Rahn-yah) France's friend, who works for Lancome as some sort of district coordinator something-or-other, meaning she goes to different stores around the area, and she happened to be at Bloomie's in our mall. France called me and told me to go see her, so I did.
Besides being funny and pretty and understanding about the In-Laws, the woman changed my life.
Never before would I have thought that spending eighty dollars on face scrub and cream would be on my mind, but suddenly I am wondering how many weeks will go by before I can afford such a splurge. As I buy the products I'll review them and list their names and prices, but right now that seems like way too much effort when I could be talking about lipstick and eyeshadow.
From Raina I bought Lancome's Renergie Lift Makeup in Porcelain 40 (foundation) to go with my Dual Finish of a few entries ago. It came with some stuff but most importantly, another eye quad in very wearable brown-coppers. (I hate orange coppers and almost all makeup counter ladies want to put them on me.)
Last night I succumbed to my Black Honey urges at the Clinique counter. They were out of the lipstick, so I bought the glosswear for lips, and I really do love the color. I've been trying to break out of my mauve-rose lipcolor rut, and this is perfect. Of course, it was only $13.50, which wasn't enough to get the free gift, so I had to get something else...after walking around the counter a billion times, I decided on Colour Surge Lip Laquer in Sultry Splash, which is a sort of glimmery toffee color. It's gorgeous and thick and in the sleekest little pot.
Lancome is my first love for face products. Clinique has great things for lips. Smashbox has the most beautiful, colorful eyeshadows.
My poor little bank account is screaming for mercy.
I had a consultation with Raina, (Rahn-yah) France's friend, who works for Lancome as some sort of district coordinator something-or-other, meaning she goes to different stores around the area, and she happened to be at Bloomie's in our mall. France called me and told me to go see her, so I did.
Besides being funny and pretty and understanding about the In-Laws, the woman changed my life.
Never before would I have thought that spending eighty dollars on face scrub and cream would be on my mind, but suddenly I am wondering how many weeks will go by before I can afford such a splurge. As I buy the products I'll review them and list their names and prices, but right now that seems like way too much effort when I could be talking about lipstick and eyeshadow.
From Raina I bought Lancome's Renergie Lift Makeup in Porcelain 40 (foundation) to go with my Dual Finish of a few entries ago. It came with some stuff but most importantly, another eye quad in very wearable brown-coppers. (I hate orange coppers and almost all makeup counter ladies want to put them on me.)
Last night I succumbed to my Black Honey urges at the Clinique counter. They were out of the lipstick, so I bought the glosswear for lips, and I really do love the color. I've been trying to break out of my mauve-rose lipcolor rut, and this is perfect. Of course, it was only $13.50, which wasn't enough to get the free gift, so I had to get something else...after walking around the counter a billion times, I decided on Colour Surge Lip Laquer in Sultry Splash, which is a sort of glimmery toffee color. It's gorgeous and thick and in the sleekest little pot.
Lancome is my first love for face products. Clinique has great things for lips. Smashbox has the most beautiful, colorful eyeshadows.
My poor little bank account is screaming for mercy.
Mmm...
Received yet another order from Beccalights (link below) today and seriously, ya'all...these are some of the most delicious candles I have ever smelled. I ordered a pack of samples and now I can't wait until Spring so I can get my little fingers on goodies like "Freshly Mown" and "Clean Linens"...the latter of which smells exactly like a Bounce dryer sheet.
Also ordered the lip balm in Butterscotch flavor and it smells delicious and is smooth on the lips. A little waxy but I forgive it because it smells. So. Good.
So, Cinnabun candles and Butterscotch lip balm and freshly baked cookies for my management team at work, and I hope they love it as much as I do!
Also ordered the lip balm in Butterscotch flavor and it smells delicious and is smooth on the lips. A little waxy but I forgive it because it smells. So. Good.
So, Cinnabun candles and Butterscotch lip balm and freshly baked cookies for my management team at work, and I hope they love it as much as I do!
Thursday, December 15, 2005
Wishes and Such.
It's not easy being a mommy. I don't think anyone would tell you so, and if anyone does, they're lying.
You let yourself fall apart after awhile. You're not sure at exactly what point you decided that you'd rather go four days without showering just to get an extra fifteen minutes of sleep, but it happens more than you'd like to admit, and you start to feel slightly inhuman.
So you go to the Clinique counter, you buy some lipstick, you clean off your dresser, and you swear that tomorrow, you're gonna brush your hair, maybe even dress up. Tomorrow you'll start the routines you keep promising yourself.
Black Honey, is all I'm saying. Worked wonders for my spirit.
You let yourself fall apart after awhile. You're not sure at exactly what point you decided that you'd rather go four days without showering just to get an extra fifteen minutes of sleep, but it happens more than you'd like to admit, and you start to feel slightly inhuman.
So you go to the Clinique counter, you buy some lipstick, you clean off your dresser, and you swear that tomorrow, you're gonna brush your hair, maybe even dress up. Tomorrow you'll start the routines you keep promising yourself.
Black Honey, is all I'm saying. Worked wonders for my spirit.
Monday, December 12, 2005
Mmm...
I received my candles from Beccalights and they are so delicious. Seriously. If you've been spending your wad on Yankee Candle Company or somesuch mess, you need to get on over to this website and buy some Cinnabun or possibly Baked Bread.
Within fifteen minutes of opening the box and inhaling the yummy goodness, Leila had yanked a candle down, dug her little fingernails into it and was trying to figure out why it didn't taste good. (Kind of like when she eats the wrappers from Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.) Sooo I chalked that one up to ruined and lit it and OH. MY. GOD. I must make cinnamon rolls forthwith! The smell, she is overwhelming.
Ahem. So then I had to order another candle since these are presents, and then I also ordered some lip balm to add to the package and this time, having learned my lessson, I ordered an extra one for myself, PLUS six samples. I now have to get a tartwarmer thing.
France did not kill me for posting about her little...episode...and in fact I think she boosted my visits quite a bit. So we still love each other and can go shopping at Ulta for five times the points! Yay!
I think I am intoxicated by the scent of my candle because this was supposed to be a cranky post. I am sick and Leila is sick and my husband is grumpy and trying to decide whether or not to change jobs and the sky is threatening snow but not actually snowing...but who can complain when they have grilled cheese and Cinnabun candles? Not me!
Within fifteen minutes of opening the box and inhaling the yummy goodness, Leila had yanked a candle down, dug her little fingernails into it and was trying to figure out why it didn't taste good. (Kind of like when she eats the wrappers from Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.) Sooo I chalked that one up to ruined and lit it and OH. MY. GOD. I must make cinnamon rolls forthwith! The smell, she is overwhelming.
Ahem. So then I had to order another candle since these are presents, and then I also ordered some lip balm to add to the package and this time, having learned my lessson, I ordered an extra one for myself, PLUS six samples. I now have to get a tartwarmer thing.
France did not kill me for posting about her little...episode...and in fact I think she boosted my visits quite a bit. So we still love each other and can go shopping at Ulta for five times the points! Yay!
I think I am intoxicated by the scent of my candle because this was supposed to be a cranky post. I am sick and Leila is sick and my husband is grumpy and trying to decide whether or not to change jobs and the sky is threatening snow but not actually snowing...but who can complain when they have grilled cheese and Cinnabun candles? Not me!
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
And now Blogger hates me.
I have tried to post this already--twice! Let's try again because Lord knows there's not enough complaining in this world!
Hi! Today sucks. Did I mention it already? I'm sorry, I can't hear myself talk over THE RAGING BEASTCHILD FROM HADES.
And let me tell you, there's no capper to your day like hearing your husband say, "Oh, they won't fire me till after this project is over."
....?
Also did I mention the screaming? Always with the screaming and the beating of tiny fists on the floor. And I am tired, oh so very tired...but does Master care? No. All Master wants is to sit in Mama's chair and spill this nice cup of tea ALL OVER THE CHRISTMAS CARDS featuring her ANGELIC FACE.
Hi! Today sucks. Did I mention it already? I'm sorry, I can't hear myself talk over THE RAGING BEASTCHILD FROM HADES.
And let me tell you, there's no capper to your day like hearing your husband say, "Oh, they won't fire me till after this project is over."
....?
Also did I mention the screaming? Always with the screaming and the beating of tiny fists on the floor. And I am tired, oh so very tired...but does Master care? No. All Master wants is to sit in Mama's chair and spill this nice cup of tea ALL OVER THE CHRISTMAS CARDS featuring her ANGELIC FACE.
Today sucks!
Hi! Today sucks. Did I mention it already? I'm sorry, I can't hear myself talk over THE RAGING BEASTCHILD FROM HADES.
And let me tell you, there's no capper to your day like hearing your husband say, "Oh, they won't fire me till after this project is over."
....?
Also did I mention the screaming? Always with the screaming and the beating of tiny fists on the floor. And I am tired, oh so very tired...but does Master care? No. All Master wants is to sit in Mama's chair and spill this nice cup of tea ALL OVER THE CHRISTMAS CARDS featuring her ANGELIC FACE.
And let me tell you, there's no capper to your day like hearing your husband say, "Oh, they won't fire me till after this project is over."
....?
Also did I mention the screaming? Always with the screaming and the beating of tiny fists on the floor. And I am tired, oh so very tired...but does Master care? No. All Master wants is to sit in Mama's chair and spill this nice cup of tea ALL OVER THE CHRISTMAS CARDS featuring her ANGELIC FACE.
Today sucks!
Hi! Today sucks. Did I mention it already? I'm sorry, I can't hear myself talk over THE RAGING BEASTCHILD FROM HADES.
And let me tell you, there's no capper to your day like hearing your husband say, "Oh, they won't fire me till after this project is over."
....?
Also did I mention the screaming? Always with the screaming and the beating of tiny fists on the floor. And I am tired, oh so very tired...but does Master care? No. All Master wants is to sit in Mama's chair and spill this nice cup of tea ALL OVER THE CHRISTMAS CARDS featuring her ANGELIC FACE.
And let me tell you, there's no capper to your day like hearing your husband say, "Oh, they won't fire me till after this project is over."
....?
Also did I mention the screaming? Always with the screaming and the beating of tiny fists on the floor. And I am tired, oh so very tired...but does Master care? No. All Master wants is to sit in Mama's chair and spill this nice cup of tea ALL OVER THE CHRISTMAS CARDS featuring her ANGELIC FACE.
Mornings with the Beastess.
A short list of things my daughter has done since we got out of bed forty minutes ago:
~climbed onto the kitchen table
~threw herself on the floor sobbing
~dug batteries out of a drawer and ran down the hall shoving them all in her mouth
~threw herself on the floor sobbing
~refused to stay still during diaper change OR toenail clipping, reached for the clippers, nearly snipped her own finger off, and then
~threw herself on the floor sobbing
Terrible twos, here we come.
God help us all.
~climbed onto the kitchen table
~threw herself on the floor sobbing
~dug batteries out of a drawer and ran down the hall shoving them all in her mouth
~threw herself on the floor sobbing
~refused to stay still during diaper change OR toenail clipping, reached for the clippers, nearly snipped her own finger off, and then
~threw herself on the floor sobbing
Terrible twos, here we come.
God help us all.
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
~snork~
I have come across the funniest. blog. ever. So funny she's published a book that I will be buying even though I hate paying money for "funny" books but seriously? I almost peed my pants laughing today. I am nothing if not generous so I would like to direct you towards Jennsylvania and don't say I never gave you anything.
Monday, December 05, 2005
Presents for all!
Via the very funny Miss Doxie I found these candles and ordered 4 of the Cinnabun tins for gifties. Through there I discovered these soaps and now I feel compelled to order 4 soaps to go with my 4 candles for a grand total of around $40 for three gift sets and a little something for myself. Which I know isn't bad. But still, with all the shopping I've done today I feel like I should wait until next weekend, except I can't, because the soap site closes the 9th! Such decisions!
Anyway, over at Miss Doxie's there are about a million gift ideas for under $10 and it's about the smartest idea I've seen in awhile, so head over and browse. There are coupons, too!
Anyway, over at Miss Doxie's there are about a million gift ideas for under $10 and it's about the smartest idea I've seen in awhile, so head over and browse. There are coupons, too!
Saturday, December 03, 2005
When you smiiiiiiiile...
The whole world smiles with you! And how can you not smile at this face??
Or this face:
Or these tights!
Or this face:
Or these tights!
Retail Hell.
Now, I like my job. I know it's hard to believe. I know most people would lead you to believe that retail will suck your soul out through your fingertips. And it probably will. But I lurve clothes and I lurve working with a bunch of women and I lurve making someone's entire day when I find that sale shoe in size 7.5 in some store in Hawaii.
I even lurve the holidays.
To a certain extent, that is.
See, when holiday time begins, people are cheerful. They are happy. They are shopping! for! that special someone! Hoorah, and do you have this in an extra small? Associates are excited because pretty cashmere is rolling in every day, and the tangy scent of markdowns is in the air.
However. It is now almost the second week of December. And people are starting to get a wee bit edgy.
If you've shopped anytime in the past, oh, ten years or so, you know that retailers have different bags at Christmas. Ours this years are candy-apple red and gorgeous. They're stacked everywhere in the backroom. The backroom is the domain of the lovely and talented France, my great friend, (the blog about our trip to Ulta is forthcoming, I swear!) and probably my favorite coworker. Girlfriend can haul through stock like nobody's business, and juggles three jobs while still having gorgeous hair. It's just not fair.
France is fairly easygoing, but she's a neatfreak, and you know, none of the rest of us are.
So. Picture it. We've received 40 cases of shipment, 20 boxes of bags and boxes, and four massive boxes containing visual stuff. We had a huge sale over the weekend, and we've been placing sweaters on the floor directly from the boxes, totally screwing up poor France's system. I flip out. "France will be here at two, and this place is a disaster! Also, a fire hazard! But France, she will have our heads!" So Erica and I start stacking up all the boxes, take the trash out, pick up all the random pieces of plastic and stack up the purses. I am generally please with the effect.
Whoops.
France came dancing in at one thirty, all tra-la-la, and having been there since seven, I'm like, "what's your deal?"
"I'm just in a GREAT mood!" she trills at me.
"Glad someone is," I mutter.
So I am cleaning. And I am backstocking. And I am merchandising. And I am assisting clients. Because lo, I am keyholder extraordinaire. And as I bring sweaters into the back, France gestures wildly, "What the hell is this?"
Me: "Uh, what?"
"This mess!"
I kind of laughed, not sure what she was talking about, and made some comment about how she should have seen the place earlier.
"Who did this with the bags?" she grits, and I wildly say that I stacked them there because the door was blocked and then finally I realize that she is talking about the piles of holiday bags gaily tossed over the left side of her work desk.
"Oh, I didn't do that!" I say, anxious to escape her wrath.
Grumbling under her breath. Then, louder, "You'd better tell them I'm mad! Mad, I say!"
And then I think she started foaming at the mouth but I was too busy hightailing it out of there to notice.
A while later I came back and she was listening to a mix tape.
"Aw, are you listening to 'Jackie's Mix 1'?" I asked, sing-songy.
"Yes," she snapped, You wanna make something of it? hiding in that one word.
"Sorr-ee. What's wrong with you?"
"I am seriously PISSED," she spluttered, right before she started speaking in tongues. In ancient Aramaic, I believe she was saying something about disrespect, but since I didn't watch Passion of the Christ I'm not really fit for interpreting.
See what I'm saying? Edgy.
Eventually one of the managers cleaned up the travesty of the holiday bags and France had some tea and I think all was right with the world, but I'm totally not talking to her until the last client walks out with the last holiday bag. Or January 12. Or when I think it's safe.
And France? I maintain my innocence. Please love me again! Otherwise, my future trips to Ulta will be super boring.
*some incidents may be slightly exaggerated for comedic effect.
I even lurve the holidays.
To a certain extent, that is.
See, when holiday time begins, people are cheerful. They are happy. They are shopping! for! that special someone! Hoorah, and do you have this in an extra small? Associates are excited because pretty cashmere is rolling in every day, and the tangy scent of markdowns is in the air.
However. It is now almost the second week of December. And people are starting to get a wee bit edgy.
If you've shopped anytime in the past, oh, ten years or so, you know that retailers have different bags at Christmas. Ours this years are candy-apple red and gorgeous. They're stacked everywhere in the backroom. The backroom is the domain of the lovely and talented France, my great friend, (the blog about our trip to Ulta is forthcoming, I swear!) and probably my favorite coworker. Girlfriend can haul through stock like nobody's business, and juggles three jobs while still having gorgeous hair. It's just not fair.
France is fairly easygoing, but she's a neatfreak, and you know, none of the rest of us are.
So. Picture it. We've received 40 cases of shipment, 20 boxes of bags and boxes, and four massive boxes containing visual stuff. We had a huge sale over the weekend, and we've been placing sweaters on the floor directly from the boxes, totally screwing up poor France's system. I flip out. "France will be here at two, and this place is a disaster! Also, a fire hazard! But France, she will have our heads!" So Erica and I start stacking up all the boxes, take the trash out, pick up all the random pieces of plastic and stack up the purses. I am generally please with the effect.
Whoops.
France came dancing in at one thirty, all tra-la-la, and having been there since seven, I'm like, "what's your deal?"
"I'm just in a GREAT mood!" she trills at me.
"Glad someone is," I mutter.
So I am cleaning. And I am backstocking. And I am merchandising. And I am assisting clients. Because lo, I am keyholder extraordinaire. And as I bring sweaters into the back, France gestures wildly, "What the hell is this?"
Me: "Uh, what?"
"This mess!"
I kind of laughed, not sure what she was talking about, and made some comment about how she should have seen the place earlier.
"Who did this with the bags?" she grits, and I wildly say that I stacked them there because the door was blocked and then finally I realize that she is talking about the piles of holiday bags gaily tossed over the left side of her work desk.
"Oh, I didn't do that!" I say, anxious to escape her wrath.
Grumbling under her breath. Then, louder, "You'd better tell them I'm mad! Mad, I say!"
And then I think she started foaming at the mouth but I was too busy hightailing it out of there to notice.
A while later I came back and she was listening to a mix tape.
"Aw, are you listening to 'Jackie's Mix 1'?" I asked, sing-songy.
"Yes," she snapped, You wanna make something of it? hiding in that one word.
"Sorr-ee. What's wrong with you?"
"I am seriously PISSED," she spluttered, right before she started speaking in tongues. In ancient Aramaic, I believe she was saying something about disrespect, but since I didn't watch Passion of the Christ I'm not really fit for interpreting.
See what I'm saying? Edgy.
Eventually one of the managers cleaned up the travesty of the holiday bags and France had some tea and I think all was right with the world, but I'm totally not talking to her until the last client walks out with the last holiday bag. Or January 12. Or when I think it's safe.
And France? I maintain my innocence. Please love me again! Otherwise, my future trips to Ulta will be super boring.
*some incidents may be slightly exaggerated for comedic effect.
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